Bipasha Basu should be India's environment minister because she was "the real reason for global warming all over the world."
This was the choice of International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) Awards hosts Boman Irani and Riteish Deshmukh who unveiled their dream cabinet before a packed auditorium at The Venetian Hotel in Macau as the annual event marked its 10th anniversary.
The comic duo announced their choice that they said should have been appointed by Bollywood after the recent elections, much to the delight of the 15,000 strong crowd in Macau on Saturday (June 13) night.
Director Ashutosh Gowariker should be agriculture minister for what he had done for the rural community with his hit film "Lagaan"; Raakesh Roshan, the coal minister because his successful film "Koyla" had shown that he knows everything there is to know about the black product; and Katrina Kaif should be the youth affairs minister because every youth wanted to talk to her, the pair added.
Aamir Khan should be home minister because all he did for eleven months in every year was sit at home and then just release a single film in the last month.
Akshay Kumar, shown on screen with his face on a Rs1,000 note, should be the finance minister because with the money he makes he could finance almost the entire population.
"Slumdog Millionaire" star Freida Pinto would do well in the post of minister for overseas and foreign affairs because she knew exactly how to start an affair abroad, Irani jested.
Always on the defensive, Salman Khan would make the ideal defence minister and Malika Sherawat could occupy the new position of minister for the upliftment of the downtrodden.
Others in the Irani/Deshmukh cabinet would be Sunny Deol as law and transport minister; Yash and Aditya Chopra of 'Punjab Power' fame for their film "Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi" as joint power ministers; and Viveik Oberoi as telecommunications minister because he knew how to make calls quickly when necessary.
Gay themes in Bollywood are well out of the closet, if the many comic acts and sexual innuendos at the International Indian Film Academy Awards (IIFA) in Macau on Saturday (June 13) night were anything to go by.
With a number of quips about gay relationships by hosts Boman Irani and Riteish Deshmukh the order of the day, Abhishek Bachchan topped it off with his remarks as he won the Best Comic Role award for the film "Dostana" about him and John Abraham pretending to be a gay couple to secure accommodation from Priyanka Chopra's character in the film.
As he called his director onto the stage, Bachchan said: "You're the man!", quickly adding "No, not THAT man!
"And John (who was not at the Awards), I miss him, I was watching Bipasha and she was going like: 'He's mine!'
Addressing his wife Aishwarya Rai Bachchan in the front row, Abhishek said: "Baby, you're the best! This is proof that I'm a heterosexual, but tonight I'm feeling very gay (happy)."
Later in the show, Irani and Deshmukh, playing a gay couple getting married, were shown on screen in a spoof, The item ended with the double entendre comment :" Dost -aana - loved by all MAN-kind" (sic).
Deshmukh also made several "gay" advances towards some of the actors getting onto stage at items.
As for the film "Jodhaa Akbar", which was named best film and also won Ashutosh Gowariker the best director award, Irani remarked that Deshmukh would have made a good Jodhaa, the character played by Aishwarya Rai in the film.
The 15,000-strong audience at the Chinese resort here lapped it all up with huge applause.
Abhishek Bachchan felt "very gay" as he accepted the best comic actor for his performance in "Dostana" at the Idea International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) awards. He dedicated the award to wife Aishwarya Rai and Samajwadi Party leader Amar Singh.
"I dedicate this award to two people - Amar Singhji, who is in the hospital, and my wife Ash. I promise I will only love you (Ash). I am a heterosexual, but today I am feeling very gay," Abhishek said in his acceptance speech in Macau.
Amar Singh, a close family friend for the Bachchans, is in a Singapore hospital reportedly for kidney problems.
In Tarun Mansukhani's comedy "Dostana", Abhishek and John Abraham played friends pretending to be a gay couple to secure rental accommodation in Miami. The film was a huge box-office success thanks to the duo's chemistry and perfect comic timing.
Abhishek, who started crying when his name was announced, said that it was his dream to do comedy like his father, megastar Amitabh Bachchan, did in "Amar Akbar Anthony".
"I used to watch my father in mind-blowing scenes in 'Amar Akbar Anthony' and used to say I want to be like that man. And here I am today. I would like to thank ma and pa for giving birth to me because I am here because of you (mom and dad). I would like to thank Ash's mummy and papa for giving birth to her."
For Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai, the IIFA Weekend could well have been a second honeymoon.
The couple, clearly very much in love in their third year of marriage, showed something rather rare in their public life otherwise - their affection for each other very publicly at the various International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) Weekend events and also during stage activities at the grand finale show in Macau, which is a Special Administrative Region of China.
In the company of Amitabh and Jaya Bachchan most of the time as they walked the green carpets at the three nightly events that saw hundreds of fans behind barriers screaming for autographs and a handshake, the couple readily obliged.
Aishwarya even playfully pulled Abhishek along by the hands at one stage when she thought he was taking too long in moving along as he chatted to the media.
But it was during the awards ceremony on Saturday night that the couple revelled in their love for each other amidst their performances on stage.
"Baby, you're the best," Abhishek said off the stage as he accepted the award for the Best Comic Role playing a pseudo-gay character in the hit film “Dostana” last year.
Earlier, when Aishwarya got the award for outstanding achievement by an Indian in global cinema, she said in her thanks to all her family: "You're the best husband!"
Towards the end of the show, as Abhishek danced through the 15,000-seater packed auditorium, he stopped by Aishwarya's seat and even got her to jump up and dance with him in front of her seat.
When Abhishek broke down and choked with emotion while talking about how he had aspired to be like his father when he saw Amitabh's role in "Amar Akbar Anthony" as a child, the shared emotion was clear on Aishwarya's face shown on the screens around the arena. And every time that he laughed or joked, she showed great joy too.
The same was true for Abhishek whenever Aishwarya was on stage, and the huge crowd lapped it all up with thunderous applause.
The love story that was the toast of Bollywood two years ago clearly continues to make waves.
His shoulder surgery and Indian Premier League matches put him out of the silver screen action for a while. Now Shah Rukh Khan is all set to do daring stunts in the sequel to "Don - The Chase Begins Again", though there will be no double role.
Director Farhan Akhtar will shoot "Don 2" with the original star cast from May 2010 in Ireland and Berlin and says Shah Rukh will do some of the most heart-in-the-mouth stunts, making it his most audacious actioner yet.
"He's always game for the audacious. But the health problems really frustrate him," said Farhan referring to the superstar's shoulder surgery this year.
Sources say there will be no double role for Shah Rukh in "Don 2".
Shah Rukh underwent a successful arthroscopic surgery for acute pain in his left shoulder at the Breach Candy hospital in Mumbai in February. He needed to rest for a month after the surgery, which had put on hold the filming of Karan Johar's "My Name Is Khan" till March 14.
"This is why he allotted dates in 2009 to 'My Name Is Khan'. It requires very little physical exertion whereas 'Don 2' is a kick-ass role," said a source.
When the proposal to do the sequel first came up, the superstar was very sure it would have to go beyond the first part in terms of locales, action and drama. "Don 2" will be the first Indian film to be shot in Dublin, Ireland.
"We're shooting 'Don 2' in Dublin. No Indian film has been shot there. We want to make sure that the sequel goes ahead of the first film. While the first part was a remake (of the Amitabh Bachchan starrer 'Don'), the sequel is an original script and would be much tougher to film for Shah Rukh and Farhan," producer Ritesh Sidhwani told IANS.
And there's Priyanka Chopra for company again. Though the actress has apparently been left out of "Dostana 2", she's very much part of "Don 2".
"We're very much going ahead with the original cast of Shah Rukh, Priyanka, Boman Irani, Arjun Rampal and Om Puri. Only those who died in the original won't return, obviously," said Sidhwani.
Flowing, elaborate, layered and slinky Western dresses scored over the India sari or shalwar kameez for most Bollywood actresses at the green carpet of the International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) Awards in Macau on June 13.
While only few actresses such as Aishwarya Rai, Priyanka Chopra and Lara Dutta stuck to the graceful six-yard drape, most others like Bipasha Basu, Kangana Ranaut, Mugdha Godse, Genelia D'Souza, Sushmita Sen, Dia Mirza, Amrita Rao and others proudly showed off their curves in body hugging Western attires.
"A sari for me is just six yards of beautiful draping. I love sari and I was feeling very 'desi' (Indian) tonight, so I decided to wear a sari. I think it flatters a woman's body the best," said Priyanka, who flaunted a striking beige and pink Manish Malhotra creation.
Aishwarya wore a mint coloured, subdued, yet heavily embellished creation by designer duo Abu Jani and Sandeep Khosla and looked extremely eye-catching walking in toe with husband Abhishek Bachchan.
Bipasha, Kangana and Sushmita were the best dressed among those who opted for the Western silhouette.
While Bipasha wore an electric blue dress by Delhi-based designer sisters Gauri and Nainika Karan, Kangana wore a pristine white wedding dress-like attire by Rick Roy. Sushmita, looked fit and slender in a slim, long Roberto Cavalli number.
"My dress weighs 25 kg. It is a very fairytale like dress and I always wanted one like this. But the weight doesn't matter. For girls, as long as they look good, they don't mind anything," said Kangana, who walked away with an IIFA award for her performance in Madhur Bhandarkar's "Fashion".
Star wives Sussanne Roshan and Mallika Khan (Zayed Khan's wife) too walked the green carpet wearing exquisite gowns.
The men gave the women a neck-to-neck competition on the fashion quotient.
The bow-tie look seemed very much like the flavour of the season with Abhishek Bachchan and Arjun Rampal flaunting the same.
Hrithik Roshan, who was named the IIFA style icon of the year, ended up making a major fashion faux pas by wearing silver formal shoes for the ceremony, where he was also named the best actor in a leading role for "Jodhaa Akbar".
In a bid to occupy the top slot in Bollywood, Katrina Kaif and Priyanka Chopra are vying for meatier roles than the other. Kat seems to have won the latest round in their fight for dominance.
Karan Johar is said to have signed Katrina Kaif for “Dostana 2”. This has obviously not gone down well with Priyanka.
She attained tremendous popularity for her role in “Dostana” and would have loved to be part of the sequel too. Secondly, she feels Karan, who is a close friend of Shah Rukh, has signed SRK’s enemy Salman’s girlfriend and not her, even though Priyanka is part of SRK and Karan’s camp.
As for Katrina, she is just thrilled to have been signed by none other than Karan Johar, and that too in place of Priyanka Chopra!